A Red-Letter Day

Investing capital in time-machine research is no risk and all reward... Once the time machine is built, you can simply go back in time and give it to yourself before you spend all your research dollars. In essence, you're giving yourself a free time machine!

I am sick and tired of this swine flu SHIT. When I have to SNEAK into the hospital to visit my friend... During visiting hours... And I'm perfectly healthy... Grrr... Things have gone too far. And guess what? I'm doing it. Just watch me. I know exactly where to go.

You can suck it, Ruby Memorial. If I get swine flu, first thing I'm doing is coming over and coughing all over the place.

Wow.

I hope he wins.

Who's familiar with the difference between the men's and women's restroom?

So I'm at the Taking Back Sunday / All American Rejects concert at the Coliseum tonight, and I need to hit the restroom. I walk in and am greeted by a girl at the mirror doing her makeup while her friend is using the stall. The urinals are in clear view, so I know I'm in the right place. What do I do?

I say hey, ask them what they think about the show, and go about my business. An event staff guy walks in and does the exact same thing.

And that is the difference between the men's and women's restroom. If a guy walks into the girls' restroom, a major freak out ensues. The girls stop by the guys'? We welcome them in; tell 'em to stay for awhile... Apologise that we don't have couches like they're used to. It's a lot nicer experience.