A Red-Letter Day

So, um, I'm the new president of the WVU Chi Epsilon chapter.

That's interesting, isn't it? How did it happen? Well, there were 5 positions to fill and 5 of us at the meeting. Enough said.

So I guess now I'm officially "involved". Scary. Apparently this isn't the involved Kailey was suggesting, though. See, being the president of the nerdy guy club doesn't do much for you, unless you're looking for a job... Or grad school... But not the ladies. I think she wants me to… Volunteer. *gasp* Wouldn't that be earth-shattering?

Hockey fans really aren't like other fans. If building my own Stanley Cup isn't enough evidence, I'd like to present some more.

So the Penguins / Rangers series opened tonight, with one major problem: I bought a ticket to fireworks night (with a free baseball game) up at PNC Park tonight before I knew the Pens would be playing. Well, I certainly couldn't miss the game, but I didn't want to waste my fireworks' ticket either. Solution: I brought a portable radio with me to listen to the game on The X while I was at the baseball game.

Now picture this: 1 fan, among 20,000 others, jumping up out of his seat in the middle of completely nothing (Really, nothing... It's a baseball game) wearing a Pens jersey, shouting, "Yeeeeaaaah! Sidney Crosby! Suck it Rangers!"... That's me. While we were fighting our way back from the brink of destruction, behind 3-0, managing to tie the game and eventually win it, I was losing it. Screaming my head off after every goal. And the bored Pirate fans were loving me! Second to the win, that was the best part. Everyone was high-fiving me; the people behind me called me "Pens Guy" and even took pictures with me. (Look for me on Myspace, they say.) We even had fireworks to celebrate. Best Pirates game ever.

Special Topics: Stories

In honor of Arbor Day, I'm going to republish a comment I left on Kailey's blog a while back that some may have missed. I figure since it's actually trendy now to be "Green", this post still has as much, if not more, relevance than it did over a year ago. New comments will be placed in [brackets].

How'd you know I'd disagree with the global warming post? Am I that predictable?

Global warming is merely a ploy by the enviro-nuts to get the rest of the world going green. Don't believe me? Quick quote from one of [Bill] Clinton's top cronies, Tim Wirth. "We've got to ride the global-warming issue. Even if the theory is wrong, we will be doing the right thing in terms of economic and environmental policy." Hmmm... Well then. Now, I'm sure there's others out there that feel that way too, but you really can't smack down an ideal because of one idiot that supports it... Then we'd all be in trouble.

But really... There is of course evidence that things are getting warmer. You can't really argue that. My source says .45 K in the last 100 years. That's numbers. You look, and see what's bigger. Simple. Here's the tricky part: relating it to the real world. Too many people abuse statistics and it's sad.T hey're used to create arguments today, not defend them. [Actually, this may not be true any more. I remember reading an article about how some scientists running thermometers in the oceans are noticing that they are actually getting colder. Of course, the global warming people say they must be reading the thermometers wrong, but unless they have [Insert your favorite idiot] on site, I'm going to have faith in them. I wish I could remember the source; if I come across it, I'll let you guys know.]

But I'm getting off course. I think I'll stay there. Did you know that the stork population in the UK has been declining over the past decade or so? Did you also know that their birthrate has also fallen at about the same rate over that time. Hmmm... Bet I know where babies come from!

Kinda sounds like the trend with global warming, though, doesn't it? You know, temperatures have gone up over the past couple years, and, oo, so has that dirty, dirty industry we don't like that much. Bet I know what caused it!

Must be fossil fuels, cause you know, temperatures dropped an average .5 K between 1940 and 1970, which just so happened to be when all this CO2 stuff started really pumping out. Oh, and that was also when the global cooling wackjobs starting complaining... See a trend?

Of course, I'm just going to say it's part of a global temperature cycle, but nobody want to hear that.

Instead, let's be negative. The whole planet just got 1 K hotter. Well... OK, maybe a little bit of ice melted. Certainly not enough to cover Al Gore's PowerPoint Florida... I think maybe he's just holding a grudge. But hey! Some of that ice melted from Siberia... Maybe Russia can farm something now! Same with Greenland! And hey, that means longer growing seasons for the rest of us. Cool! And plants like CO2, right? Hey, they'll probably have a party. Some may say a field day... Ahaha... Punny. And spring break? It might actually be warm. That'd be neat.

As for me, I like to ski. You'd think I'd be the most worried. Hmmm... Maybe I should buy up all the carbon credits.

BTW, do I have any carbon credits? [I never fly in helicopters or private jets, so I should have more than Al...] Cause if I do, I don't really use 'em all that much. Anybody wanna buy them? How much do these things go for?

I used to watch Wild On! just to see an hour of Brooke Burke.

Hey, I was twelve.

Special Topics: Confessions

I absolutely hate when people copy me. Of course I've heard the old saying, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," but I really don't buy into that. Logically, I guess it makes sense, but when it comes down to it, I simply don't understand why some cannot tread their own path. I've figured out my habits, my style, etc. on my own... You should do the same.

Here's a recent example, sans names, as usual. I'm getting ready for a long night in which I'll be attending a ceremony for Beth, who's getting some award for volunteering, so I throw on an appropriately nice shirt. First, though, I'll be stopping at the RFL's apartment for the dinner they were having that night. Expected dress: College casual. A polo shirt would be outdoing most everybody in the room. Just pointing that out. [Somebody] decides to copy my dress for the night, though, so now there are two overdressed individuals attending… Two with an obvious link.

And here's where the problem is. I apparently have enough self confidence to do my own thing, even if I stand out, but now that it could easily appear as if I'm not, I'm no longer comfortable.

Think about that for a minute, cause it's the interesting part about this. A fear of others doubting my individuality. Is there a name for that?

The night got even better when I unbuttoned my cuffs and rolled my sleeves up. No lie, within seconds, [somebody]'s sleeves were up as well. Could have been a coincidence, but of course I'll never buy that. Now, normal people would have thought nothing of it. Slightly less normal and slightly cockier people would have enjoyed the copycating. Me? I hated the fact that I thought the entire room could make the mistake that I was mimicking him.

Oh, the Carruth Center would love me.

Thank you so very much for telling me all about my favorite sports teams. When I'm curious about the Penguin's current playoff series, I certainly won't go to NHL.com or PittsburghPenguins.com. No, instead I'll be looking at your AIM profile. Thanks to you, I can know their current record; their division, conference, and overall ranking; their next opponent; their scoring leader; and their staring goaltender's GAA.

In all reality, you're an invaluable source for any kind of sports information. The Mountaineer's current BCS ranking? You've got it. The absolute fact that the Steelers will win all future Super Bowls? Yup, right there. How about the series record for the Colorado Rockies when facing left handed pitchers on a Wednesday with wind speeds over 12 mph? Glad you've got that for me too.

You do a service to humanity my friend. What would we do without you? Oh, that's right... We'd go to dedicated sports web sites for official, up-to-date statistics and detailed articles.

There’s a time in a man’s life when he transforms from a simple fan to an obsessed crazy. I think that time for me spanned from sometime late last night to shortly after dinner today, when, after six grueling hours, I finished my life-size, dimensionally accurate, chicken wire and aluminum foil Stanley Cup, in preparation for the Penguins’ playoff run this year. Is it gonna lead us to Lord Stanley? You better believe it.

To just give a quick overview, a pizza pan makes up the base, with chicken wire barrels ascending towards the top where it is crowned with a plastic bowl from Wal-Mart. The entire setup is pretty much duct-taped together and then wrapped in one and a half of the biggest rolls of aluminum foil Wal-Mart sells. I actually went in with a sheet of dimensions and a tape measure, just to make sure everything was as close to the real size as possible... And I have to say, I think I did a pretty good job. It looks pretty nice. I definitely impressed myself.

Now some may ask what one does with a life-size replica of the Stanley Cup, and to be honest with you, I really don’t think it matters. I guarantee I’m gonna eat a couple bowls of popcorn out of it during games and definitely take it to any watch parties I find myself at. If I somehow managed to score tickets to a game, I’m sure it would go up, but I really don’t think they’d let me in with it... Maybe there’s an exception for super-obsessed fans like myself. I mean, really... I have the Stanley Cup. I do what I want.

There is one thing we do know for sure... I’m definitely ready to get Cup crazy... We’re not messing around this year. Problem is, I’m stuck in town that doesn’t know hockey exists. They will soon enough, though... Lord Stanley is going to take at least one ride on the PRT down to High Street.

This is my Stanley Cup.

Special Topics: Stories

I don't know what it is about this song (well, this opening sequence), but it definitely has some sort of emotional meaning to me. The interesting thing is that I never really watched the show. My dad used to watch it a lot, but I only remember bits and pieces... Not enough to be emotionally invested in it. I dunno... Maybe I'm not the only one... Or maybe I'm just weird.

Probably the latter.

I sometimes make fallacious arguments just to see if people are smart enough to call me out on them.

Special Topics: Confessions